I love London’s impressive and varied food culture, I really do. But what’s a greedy girl to do when she tires of eyeing up sourdough, dosas and dirty burgers? There’s nothing I love more than to see what other people are scoffing in other parts of the UK. I happened to be Newcastle-Upon-Tyne last weekend, where they love a good stotty, a bread roll the size of a dustbin lid (what a good idea). Sadly I didn’t get to eat one of those, but I did chance upon the town centre’s food market, and later on, a lovely place for brunch.

By heck, this was no Borough Market. Which I found rather refreshing. Nonetheless, there were some rather frightening foodstuffs on offer. Behold…

Does anybody really need cheddar flavoured with STICKY TOFFEE or WHISKEY?

I am staring Type 2 Diabetes in the face:

There were children running around eating these chocolate-dipped marshmallow kebabs – imagine the nuclear fallout:

I was breathing in more sugar than oxygen, standing near this:

Pick ‘n mix biscuits – I would, wouldn’t you? They looked enormous and divine:

Not sure I’m ever in the mood for ‘delicious Dutch pancakes’, but love that they pretend the toppings are free. D’uh!

Not even the sight of clogs can tempt me:

These muffins have some serious BOOTY on them – they must weigh 500g each!

Love these kitsch little animal chaps, but I wouldn’t be a nice person if I ate one; all that sugar!

Brownies the size and heft of paving slabs, festooned with whole chocolates and jaw-breaking toffee:

How lovely – microwave cartons at the ready:

I didn’t sample any of the market’s delights, as I had a wedding to go to, but I managed to sneak in a great breakfast the next day at Cafe 1901 in Newcastle’s Jesmond area. It’s just lovely – housed in an old Methodist church hall, it’s crammed with gorgeous vintage knick-knackery and the food is simple, brunchy fare, squidgy looking cakes and nice drinks.  Just what you want in any neighbourhood, really.

Good coffee:

To think that in my teenage years I might have tried to make off with this in my bag (naughty!):

I could waste lots of time here pretending to work on my laptop:

A be-auty of a bacon sandwich: lovely thick bacon and juicy mushrooms:

Berry smoothie – tart, refreshing, giving life back to my alcohol-drenched veins:

And did I mention that the staff are super friendly too? Cafe 1901 feels like somewhere I’d want to hibernate for winter. But I don’t live in Newcastle. Oh well.

Cafe 1901
The Old Church Hall,
St Georges Terrace,
Jesmond,
Newcastle Upon Tyne,
NE2 2DL